Foto-performance: La Pin-up Girl
Foto-performance: La Pin-up Girl

It had been a long time since I had seen my brother and I thought that seeing him was a good opportunity to come to the U.S. and make a little Money and continue my dance studies in Europe. My brother, member of the Air Force of the United States. My brother and television, my brother and Budweiser, my brother and dope and loud records.

Puedo escribir los versos más tristes esta noche…

“Hi, I am Elia”. (this is all happening in a bar, right). “I’m a Costa Rican dancer on her way to Europe”. “So fucking what you Mexican spic… coma mierda, puta, teta, cabrón… ha, ha, ha.

I had not heard Spanish in a while and the misuse of my beautiful language bothered me. But I decide to leave the bar very peacefully and forget about that AASSHOOOLE.

Puedo escribir los versos más tristes esta noche, escribir por ejemplo, la noche está estrellada y titilan azules los astros a lo lejos,

El viento de la noche gira en el cielo y canta.

Puedo escribir los versos más tristes esta noche.

I need to find a job soon. I’ve been looking for about a month. I applied in banks, stores, restaurants, and bars, but I kept for one reason or another not fulfilling the requirements.

La misma noche que hace blanquear los mismos árboles

Nosotros los de entonces ya no somos los mismos

I got a job at a hotel, cleaning rooms. Oh well, what is important is that I have a job. I work from 7 a.m. until 5 p.m, and then I go to classes of piano, guitar, singing, modern dance, jazz, tap or ballet, and then I go home. I am trying to sleep but my brother has decided to pick up some friends along the way and mixes them with laughter, television, rock, dope, liquor, or sex. I put on my ear plugs and run to grab the only bed in the house.

And as I was saying before…

Nosotros los de entonces ya no somos los mismos.

Five minutes, only five. I am not going to take a shower. It’s too cold, plus I am going to be sweating, yes is better if I just do it when I get home. I forgot to wash my white uniform. This car, dam it, looks like it is never going to warm up. I am going to be late. I hope there is enough gas. Oh well, I will probably get at least one trip, so I will have enough gas for coming back.

La misma noche que hace blanquear los mismos árboles

Nosotros los de entonces ya no somos los mismos.

All the white birds waiting for the clock to say 7 AM so that we can get in to mark our time cards.

Hey Elia, that one over there does over twenty rooms everyday.


Yes, she started like any of us and now she is the supervisor

Wow… so, how long has she been working here?

Mmmmm…. I think about twenty years.


(Great, twenty fucking years. Twenty fucking beds)

Seven o’clock. Everybody runs to get their carts full with all the towels possible: towels for the shower, towels for the hands, towels for the face, large soaps for the shower, small soaps for the skin. Clean the windows. Clean the bathrooms. Clean the walls. And then the vaaacuum cleaner, sucking, sucking until there is nothing, nothing, nothing else to be sucked.

First room of the day.

I wonder how many rooms I have done? Two, five, fifteen… I do not want to think about it… So what can I think about then? I can’t stand the idea of having may brain in limbo for eight hours a day… God, I need to grab onto some reality…

Puedo escribir los versos más tristes esta noche

Escribir por ejemplo la noche está estrellada y titilan los astros a lo lejos.

It is almost ten and I didn’t have breakfast. I am dreaming of a pair of toast already.

Hey Elia, there is a dance group that is staying in the hotel right now


Yes, yes, they’re in 101 and 102

You’re kidding… I’m cleaning those today.

Yo la quise y a veces ella también me quiso

En las noches como esta la tuve entre mis brazos

La besé tantas veces bajo el cielo infinito

Ella me quiso y a veces yo también la quería

Como no haber amado sus grandes ojos fijos

I need to get to 101 before the coffee break, and before they leave their room for the day. I can’t believe I am going to have the chance to talk again about plies, feelings, space, mo mo move move… shit, now what? My card is stuck…

María… María…


Can you help me move this card out of here, I can’t even mo moo moovvee it´, move it.

Yes, that is what I have to do… move, that’s it, movement, stage, lights, jumps, hops, demiplies.

Thanks, Maríaaaaa

Space… emotion…

This is it… 101… I should knock first


Ha, nobody is here. Bad luck. It looks like they had a wild party last night. Old dance shoes everywhere, dirty leotards… it looks like my apartment… this dress looks like the one I wore the night of the opening… this woman must be my same size… mine was prettier though… but this one has brighter colours… like neon. And the shoes…God… smells bad in here… the shoes just a little to big… I like mine better too… well of course… my hair looks kinda nice up like this… don’t you think? I´m sorry I fall on top of Lourdes that night… but I swear… I thought she knew those steps better… and now some blush on my cheeks and some lipstick maybe? Mmmmmah… this mirror needs to be cleaned… if she knew those steps better I would have not fallen on top of her… you know what I´m saying… it wasn´t my fault… I´m telling you… it really…


Believe me… I didn´t want to hurt you… I just thought you knew those steps, Lourdes… I swear, believe me…

Eso es todo. A lo lejos alguien canta. A lo lejos…

The supervisor suspended me for a week. María, Ofelia, Debbie, Janet and Paula gave me a kiss when I left… and I kinda missed them during that week…

I´m kinda happy to be back today… you know what I mean…

Es tan corto el amor y es tan largo el olvido.

Porque en noches como esta I had her in my arms, my soul is not happy con haberla perdido. Aunque este sea the last pain she causes me and these the last verses that I write.